- Episode 3: The Alchemist's Lair
Episode 3: The Alchemist's Lair
by Steve Wells
As told to Steve Wells over a glass of fine vintage Brandy made from Brazilian coffee grounds marinated in spiced olive oil for three weeks and then distilled by the light of a full moon on a wet Thursday in November.
-o-O-o-
The Story so far.
Lionel Morland and his daughter Julia have been invited to visit Lacock Abbey to advise the owner, Mr. Talbot, on the development of the Abbey garden. Lionel has realised that something strange is afoot but, before he can begin to investigate, he has had to spend several, extremely muddy hours in the garden.
-o-O-o-
By the time he got back to the Abbey, Lionel had walked through so much mud that he felt as if he was carrying the whole garden on his boots. In the kitchen he looked for a knife to scrape off at least some of the clay. There, amid the shining copper pans, was Mrs Higgins preparing carrots for that evening's meal. Mr Talbot was fond of carrots: he said it helped him in his research. Lionel listened intently to this description of Mr Talbot's vegetable preferences and then explained his theories about alchemy and Mrs Higgins listened intently.
When Lionel had finished Mrs Higgins was silent for a moment. "There was something strange yesterday. I was just taking a short cut through the hall on my way down to the kitchen door when I found Mr Talbot playing with one of those boxes he carries around."
Lionel recalled the nesting boxes.
"He seemed to be pointing it at one of the windows - one of those windows with lots of diamond shaped panes."
"Why was he doing that?"
"How should I know? Its not the kind of thing which I learned about when I was girl at Mrs Monkhouse's Academy for Gentlewomen. When I said I was sorry for interrupting, all he said was that I had better not interrupt him in the evenings because he needed absolute darkness for his work."
Lionel tried to imagine what kind of nesting box would be used indoors, and what kind of bird would need it to be aligned with a diamond-paned window. Then there was the need for darkness in Talbot's work. He shivered for a moment. Even with his wide knowledge of the subject he could only conclude that more information was needed.
"In these cases", he mused, "there is always a locked room or an undiscovered attic. Is there anything like that?"
"Not that I know of', said Mrs Higgins, "But there are smells! I've complained several times about the smells, but Mr Talbot is very secretive about them. I think that if you find out where the secret smells come from you'll find the secret room."
Lionel was extremely impressed with this deduction and said as much. Mrs Higgins thought he was very kind and they promised to meet again later that evening to trace the source of the smells and, if necessary, to thwart Mr Talbot's evil ways.
It was dark when the two investigators set out on their enquiries. Lionel thought that the cloisters were probably the most likely place to find anything. After all, they were the oldest, darkest and dankest. And here indeed was the place they sought; a room with an evil acid smell coming out of it.
Lionel moved to try the door, but jumped back when they heard a noise from within. Someone was moving about. They heard a clink like a stopper being removed from a glass bottle. They heard the sound of something being poured.
"Oh!", said Mrs Higgins. "Its just like that Dr Jekyll."
Hiding unseen in the shadows they saw the door begin to move. They watched as Mr Talbot left the room clutching a very wet piece of paper.
Venturing through the open door and saw rows of bottles and dishes lit by a dim red glow. "Alchemy!", said Lionel.
"Oh My!", said Mrs Higgins.
"We must keep watch" said Lionel once again drawing upon his great experience of the subject. "We need to find out whether he is searching for the Philosopher's Stone, or trying to transmute base metal into gold."
Mr Talbot, having realised that he had left the door open, returned. The first that Lionel and Mrs Higgins knew was when the door was pulled shut and, with a grating noise? the lock was turned. They were trapped in the Alchemist's lair.
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